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Why Adults Shouldn't Ask High School Students about Their Future Careers

Updated: Jul 16, 2023

As high school students navigate their educational journey, they often face a barrage of questions from well-meaning adults about their future career plans. While it may seem harmless, constantly asking students what they want to be when they grow up can have unintended negative consequences. This blog explores the reasons why adults should refrain from pressuring students into providing precise answers about their future, and instead adopt a more supportive and open-minded approach.

  1. Unrealistic Expectations and Feelings of Inferiority: When adults assume that all students will attend college and pursue specific career paths, they inadvertently create unrealistic expectations. Some students may not have the aptitude or desire to pursue a four-year degree, and when adults make assumptions, it can make them feel inadequate or inferior. It’s important to acknowledge that there are diverse paths to success and to avoid projecting societal norms onto students who may have different aspirations.

  2. Unpreparedness and Decision-Making: Many high school students are still in the process of discovering their interests and passions. They may not have a clear idea of what they want to do after graduation, and that is perfectly normal. Bombarding them with questions about their future only adds to their anxiety and may push them into making hasty decisions or providing false answers to please others. It’s crucial to give students the time and space to explore their options and make informed decisions based on their own interests and abilities.

  3. Focus on Acceptance and Approval: Students often feel pressured to provide socially acceptable responses to questions about their future plans. They may make up answers that sound impressive or conform to societal expectations, even if those answers don’t align with their true interests or abilities. This leads to a disconnect between their self-perception and the path they are actually pursuing. Instead of promoting authenticity and self-discovery, this emphasis on pleasing others can hinder a student’s personal and academic growth.

  4. Emotional and Psychological Impact: High school can be a time of intense pressure and stress for students. When asked about their future plans in front of friends and family, students may experience feelings of embarrassment, inadequacy, or anxiety if they haven’t yet figured out their career path. This unnecessary pressure can have a detrimental effect on their self-esteem, mental well-being, and overall academic performance. It’s important for adults to create a supportive and non-judgmental environment that encourages open discussions without imposing expectations.

  5. Empowering and Supportive Alternatives: Instead of asking students for precise career plans, adults can adopt a more empowering and supportive approach. Encouraging open-ended questions like, “Have you explored different fields of interest?” or “How can I assist you with your post-secondary planning?” allows students to engage in meaningful conversations about their aspirations without feeling pressured to have all the answers. Adults can acknowledge the achievements and challenges students face during their high school journey, showing appreciation for their individual accomplishments.


Adults should be mindful of the impact their questions about future career plans can have on high school students. By avoiding assumptions and refraining from pressuring students for precise answers, we can create an environment that fosters self-exploration, authenticity, and personal growth. High school is a time of self-discovery and transition, and students need space and support to navigate their own unique paths. Let’s focus on empowering students, providing guidance when needed, and nurturing an environment where they feel comfortable exploring their interests and making informed decisions about their futures.

I am providing FREE advice on what every parent and student should know to succeed in high school. You see, your questions will inform me what information my book may be missing, and will allow me to complete my editing.

Some of the topics you can ask me about include: To ask your question, click here.

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I give real advice for real situations. How can I help you? You can ask me a question, and I will respond. No personal questions, please. This is not a site for personal counseling. This is for academic purposes. If you want free advice, now is the time to ask a veteran educator with over 25 years in grades K-12, the last 20 at the high school level, and the last 5 as a college counselor for students with diverse backgrounds and socioeconomic levels.

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